Walking with Bill and Joseph

I have two friends who are going through difficult seasons in their lives. Bill is a friend from Northeast Arkansas who is currently facing the loss of his marriage because of some sinful patterns in his own life. They have two young daughters and it has been heartbreaking to see this unfolding in my friend’s life.

And then there is Joseph. Joseph is a friend from Texas who is grieving the loss of his Mom, with whom he was very close. This on top of a difficult divorce a few years back that he is still processing through. He, like Bill, is feeling very alone.

It is hard to see these friends grieving and hurting. I can feel the hurt when we connect by phone or text. There have been many emotions expressed, from anger to deep sorrow and certainly loneliness.

As Christ-followers, what do we do if we are facing circumstances like Bill and Joseph? Or if we have friends or family going through similar circumstances, how can we help?

Pathway to Walking in Difficult Seasons

As I observe Bill and Joseph and desire to help in any way I can, the Lord brought three Scriptures to mind:

“Be very careful, therefore, to love the Lord your God.” Joshua 23:11

In the last chapters of the book of Joshua, Joshua is giving the people a last charge before he dies. In the verses before and after this verse, Joshua is reminding them to obey the words of God in the Book of the Law of Moses (the first five books of the Bible), as well as remembering all the Lord had done for them as He gave them the Promised Land.

In the middle of these reminders, he stops to tell them to “be very careful” - and we might expect him to say “to follow all the rules and laws” that He had given. But that is not what he says. He says be very careful to “love the Lord”. And not just the Lord, but the Lord, “Your God”. So personal! 

It may sound “Christian-ese” or cliche to tell you to love God - well, of course we know we should love Him. But during really hard seasons like Bill and Joseph are experiencing, it is tempting to allow our love to grow cold. Because we don’t often understand why these things are happening, it can lead us to distance ourselves from God.

But we must do just the opposite - we must intentionally do things that move our minds and hearts toward the Lord. For some that is music. For others it may be solitude. Do whatever it takes to draw near to Him and enlist other Christ-followers to encourage you to persevere on that journey in this season.

“Whoever has My commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him.” John 14:21

This verse makes is clear - if we truly love God, we will follow His commandments. James says the same thing when he shares, “Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth”. Part of the evidence of our love for God is our obedience to His Word.

Will there be days when you and I and Bill and Joseph do not feel like obeying God’s Word? Yes. But we are not called, as Christ-followers to be led by our emotions. We must choose to obey God and His Word remembering that He has given us the Holy Spirit to empower that obedience. We can say “no” to temptation!

And don’t miss the last part of John 14:21. The promise of the Lord for those who love Him, and show their love through obedience to Him, is that He will manifest Himself to them. There is no better place to be in the midst of the chaos of life than sitting in the Lord’s presence! The Psalmist tells us that “in His presence is fullness of joy and pleasures forevermore”.

“Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, Who has been given to us.” Romans 5:3-5

As you read these verses you may have focused on the first part that talks about what our suffering can produce - endurance, character, and hope. And I am not overlooking that. Because it is important to understand that God has purposes in our suffering and hardship.

But where I want to focus your attention is on the last part: “because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, Who has been given to us”. The Lord had me in a season recently where He kept bringing me back to this phrase: “God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, Who has been given to us”. So many times in my life, and probably in yours as well, I need to be reminded that the love I need and often lack in relationships is available through the Spirit of God that lives in me.

And I love the word used here - it was “poured” into our heart. Not just a sprinkle, or a spoonful, but poured! I get the picture of a bowl overflowing with water on all sides. So not only do I need to be reminded that I am filled with God’s love for me individually, but He has also enabled me to share His love with others through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Despite the very difficult circumstances that both of these men are living out, I am praying for them to be fully convinced that God is walking with them during this season. And I am encouraging them to reach out to other Christ-followers to help bear their burden.

How to Walk Alongside Others in Difficult Seasons

So given all that has been shared so far, what are some daily, practical ways we can help a spouse, friend, or family member going through a difficult season?

1) Listen and Show Care and Empathy

I think many of us, when a friend is in a challenging place, are too quick to move to solutions, when what is most needed is a listening ear and an empathic heart. Discussions around solutions will come in time, but the most Christ-like thing you can do is sit with them in their hard place. Mourn with those who mourn, as the Scripture encourages us. Sometimes the best thing we can do is just physically be there. Words are not as important as what your presence communicates. And be sure to pray for them - and when I say for them, I also mean with them. Take time to pray for them when you are together. There is something powerful about hearing others pray fervently for you.

2) Point them to Scripture

While our life experiences are valuable, I want to share something more powerful than just those experiences with folks like Joseph and Bill - I want to point them to God’s Word!  It is in the Word they find the One who has promised to walk closely with them and not leave or forsake them. The Psalms are a great source for this because of how many emotions are expressed, but the Lord can use any part of the Bible to bring help to your friend in need. Ask the Lord for guidance and then share God’s Word knowing that the Lord Himself will be speaking to them through your sharing.

Caution: Please be very careful about the timing of sharing truths from God’s Word. There is a time to share truths like Romans 8:28, but I would not recommend sharing those truths during the early days of your friend’s hurt. First show empathy and care. Then wait for God to prompt you to share truth in the context of His love and grace.

3) Really Be There for them

Think of some practical ways you can help them. If they, like many folks, withdraw to be alone in these times, offer to come to their place and hang out for a while. But also encourage them to go out with you for bite to eat or a cup of coffee. If they have fallen into despair or depression, offer to help them with some household tasks or grocery shopping. You get the picture. Encourage them to join you at church the next Sunday. In these circumstances, Christ-like love is often spelled “T-I-M-E”.

If you are going through a difficult season, I encourage you to not try to bear this alone, but reach out to other Christ-followers who can help bear the burden with you. Invite others into the battle with you. And if you have a friend like Bill or Joseph, make time today to contact them and walk alongside them, showing Christ-like love and spending time to help. We can do this because God’s love has been poured into our hearts by the Holy Spirit He has given us!!

Application Questions:

1)     If you are in the midst of a season like Bill or Joseph, who are two Christian friends you can reach out to today so that you will not bear your burden alone?  Please don’t delay in contacting them.

2)    Take time today to read and meditate on Psalm 27. Take the words of David in that Psalm and allow those words to form your prayer to the Lord. Write that prayer out and then pray it to the Lord in hope and expectation.

 3)    Go back and re-read the section on the Joshua 23 passage. What are you doing in this season to intentionally move your heart and mind toward God? Maybe spend some extended time today listening to your favorite worship songs. Or spend some extended time reading one of the Gospels and seeing Jesus at work in the lives of people. Take a step today in faith knowing the Lord sees you and will respond.

Written by Glen Solberg, Abiding Marriage 2026. All Rights Reserved. Please email us at info@AbidingMarriage.org with any comments or questions.

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