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Are You Thinking of Your Valentine Today?

Yes, I know! Valentine’s Day was back in February - 6 months ago. But once we get past February 14th, does that mean we have “done our duty” in showing love and appreciation for our spouse?

I know she probably loved the flowers and I’m sure he appreciated that special gift you got him. And I know you will get each other something on their birthdays, and maybe exchange gifts on your anniversary as well. In my mind, those are sort of “expected” of us married folks. But shouldn’t that kind of thoughtful expressions of love and care for our spouse extend beyond those type of special occasions throughout the rest of the year?

As married folks, we need to show love and appreciation to our spouse on a consistent basis - both with our words, our actions, and our Christ-like care. You know how much you enjoy being thanked or appreciated for things you do. Are you doing that consistently with your spouse in ways that are meaningful to them?

Let’s take a moment to focus on a few verses Paul wrote to the Ephesians - and see how those might help you show that kind of love and care for your spouse:

I, therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:1-3

Paul calls us to “walk in a manner worthy” - in our context, walking as a husband or wife - and then he goes on to describe some of the characteristics of that walk: humility, gentleness, patience, love, unity, and peace. Do these words describe the way you walk with/live with your spouse day in and day out? If not, stop and confess that to the Lord. A

And as you continue to ponder that question, please be sure to recognize that some of those characteristics from Ephesians 4 match up with the fruit of the Spirit from Galatians 5. That should be a reminder to you and to me that we cannot produce fruit like gentleness, love, and patience without the help of the Spirit that lives in you as a Christ-follower.

I saw a Valentine’s Day card back in February that made me think of how I want to walk with my spouse - showing Christ-like love and care. Here is what it said:

Love you naughty, love you sweet. Love you messy, love you neat.

Love you cuddly, love you mad. Love you giggly, love you sad.

Love you quiet, love you loud. Love you nervous, love you proud.

Love you crabby, love you fine. Love you always, Valentine.

Isn’t that awesome? That’s the kind of love we can have ONLY as we allow the Spirit of God to help us walk in a manner worthy of our calling as a husband or wife. The overflow of the Spirit working in our lives will be us tangibly, consistently demonstrating our love, care, and appreciation for our spouse!

Question: How can you tangibly demonstrate Christ-like love, care, and appreciation for your spouse today? It does not have to cost a lot of money or be extraordinary -- but it must be done from a heart of sincere gratitude for the gift God has given you in your spouse!

Ideas to Share: Take time right now to make a call, write a note, buy a card, etc. that would let your spouse know they are special, not just on Valentine’s Day, or their birthday, or your anniversary, but every day of the year. And then ask the Spirit of God to help you keep on doing that throughout the rest of the year!

Written by Glen Solberg, Abiding Marriage, 2023. Send comments or questions to

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash


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