Mud Puddles and Chocolate Cake

My wife, Shawn, makes me my favorite dessert a few times a year. It’s a recipe for Texas sheet cake that she has modified until it is out-of-this-world good! The chocolatey goodness and moistness always beckons me to have “just one more piece”!!

But as scrumptious as my wife’s cake is, I think the little boy in this true story would say the piece of cake his Mom gave him on this day was the best piece of chocolate cake he has eaten in his entire life:

Summer was a great time for me as a little boy. And it was even more fun when it rained. You see, mud puddles are like magnets for little boys. On a hot and humid day in the South, there is nothing better than a cool, wet mud puddle to bring a little refreshment.

I distinctly remember one hot, summer day when it had rained a lot and I had been stomping in every mud puddle I could find, so much so, that my pants and shoes were covered with wet mud. In the midst of all the fun I was having, I realized I was really thirsty and remembered seeing my Mom making a giant pitcher of lemonade as I was leaving the house.

That thought was all it took. I was off like a jackrabbit running as fast as I could all the way home. Without thinking, I grabbed the front door and had gotten about three steps inside the door when I froze in my tracks. To my horror, I looked back and saw three, mud-covered steps on my Mom's brand-new white carpet. About the same time, I heard my Mom yell out to me, “Stop where you are!” She told me to go to the kitchen and she would meet me there.

As my Mom sat talking with me at the kitchen table, I was thinking, “She's gonna kill me! This will be the worst punishment of my life!” Then she got up to get something out of a kitchen drawer. But instead of coming out with a wooden spoon to give me a spanking, I see her walking towards me with a large, kitchen knife! To my relief, she walks right past me and proceeds to cut me the biggest piece of chocolate cake I had ever seen in my life. In all the excitement, I hadn't even noticed the cake on the table near me.

I did, of course, have to help clean up the mess I made that day. But my Mom gave me an incredible gift that I have never forgotten. She gave me a real-life picture of what God's grace really is. My Mom, not killing me that day, was a picture of mercy. But God's Grace is like that chocolate cake: Totally undeserved but given freely by One who loves us unconditionally even in the muddy moments of our lives.  (1)

As I heard BJ tell this story, my thoughts turned to my own life. Where had I seen God's undeserved gift of “chocolate cake” extended in my life? Maybe you were thinking a similar thought.

The first place I went to in my mind was the day of my salvation. What an incredible gift for a selfish, self-centered, 30-year-old me! In a season where I thought the consequences of my sin were beyond God’s ability to reconcile, God brought my friend, Tom, into my life to share the Gospel with me.

Listen to how Paul shares the grace of the Gospel: “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.”  Ephesians 2:8-9. Those verses are truly incredible. Phrases like “not of your own doing”, “gift of God”, and “no one may boast” jump out to me as I think of this incredible gift of grace that Jesus, as Lord and Master of my life, extended to me that day many years ago. Thank You, Jesus!

But the second place God brought me was my marriage. You see, in our first year of marriage, everything came crashing down. The joy of our wedding day soon turned into heartbreak after my wife found out about my adulterous relationship with another woman. But there was that moment – that incredible moment – when I went, broken and repentant, to my wife and asked for her forgiveness, never thinking she would or could ever say “Yes”. 

And that's when I experienced what BJ experienced – “Chocolate Cake Grace”. In the middle of the muddiest and most difficult season of our marriage, my wife extended the grace of God as she made the choice to forgive me. Thank You, Jesus, and thank you, Shawn!

Is that kind of grace being exhibited in your marriage by you and your spouse? If you need more encouragement to demonstrate this kind of Gospel grace in your marriage, listen to Paul’s words: Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.  Colossians 3:12-14

So here are some questions for those husbands and wives who are reading this:

• Has your spouse ever experienced, in your marriage, what BJ felt that day – that incredible taste, not of chocolate cake, but of the undeserved grace that you extended to them?

• Or is your spouse still waiting to see you demonstrate that Gospel grace?

• How can this become a regular rhythm in how you respond to your spouse?

• Are you in the regular habit of sharing a sincere and heartfelt thank you to your spouse for extending his or her grace to you when you clearly did not deserve it?

• When is the last time you did this? Maybe you need to do this the next time you see your spouse face-to-face.

  
  

This is not easy to do. In fact, some would say it is impossible using only our human abilities. It is only when you have the supernatural power of Christ dwelling in you that you can choose to extend such incredible grace in marriage.

Listen to Paul again, as the Lord speaks through him to us: “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”  Ephesians 4:32. How did “God in Christ forgive me?” Unconditionally. Freely. And, in my mind, with joy in His heart and a smile on His face.

But one thing still frequently impedes me in walking out this Gospel grace: It is frustrating that I so want my spouse to extend that Ephesians 4:32 grace and forgiveness to me when I need it, but I struggle, many times, extending that same grace to my spouse. Maybe you can relate. Lord, help us!

So I ask you to take some time to sit down and reflect on two things. Maybe the Lord even wants you to do this right now.

1) Take a few minutes and specifically thank God for His great grace towards you in salvation. Take time to specifically thank Him for the circumstances and people that were part of your salvation story. Grace is where it all starts. We cannot give away to our spouse that which we have never truly received from the Lord. (If you are unsure about your salvation, then take a few minutes to check out this link to find out more)

2) Ask the Lord to show you an area in your marriage relationship where He can help you extend that “Chocolate Cake Grace” this week? Then call on Him for the power to follow-through. He is able to do supernaturally through you what you cannot do in your own human ability. Consider asking a friend to hold you accountable to follow-through on this.

PRAYER: Lord, I am so thankful that You extended my invitation to be saved through Your incredible grace to me in Jesus’ sacrificial death on my behalf. But now that I have received that incredible gift of Gospel grace, I want to demonstrate that in all my relationships, but especially in my marriage relationship. Lord, help me to cooperate with You in showing this to the world, first in my marriage, but beyond that in every relationship You have given me. In the Name of Jesus!

Additional Online Posts on Grace in Relationships:

Paul Tripp Post: Click here to view this post

Desiring God Post: Click here to read this post

Originally written by Glen Solberg in 2016. Updated September 2025. Abiding Marriage Blog. Send comments or questions to info@AbidingMarriage.org

Photo by Cristina Matos-Albers on Unsplash.

Source: (1) Sermon by Pastor BJ Stricklin, The Summit Church, North Little Rock, AR.