Grumbling or Grateful?
- Glen Solberg
- 6 days ago
- 5 min read
Maybe it was the long line you experienced at the grocery store. Or perhaps today you were late for an appointment because of road construction. Or possibly you were waiting again on a co-worker who is consistently late for meetings.
It’s so easy to grumble and complain in our daily lives, isn’t it? Each of us faces challenging things every day – I am not denying that fact. But as Christ-followers, we have more reasons to be grateful to the Lord than others who do not yet know Him!
Here’s the question: Are you and I consistently modeling our deep gratitude for Him to those closest to us and to the unbelieving world?
The Bible is not short on calling us to be grateful and thankful to the Lord. Here are a few examples just from the book of Psalms:
Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, for His steadfast love endures forever. Psalm 136:1
You are my God, and I will give thanks to You; You are my God; I will extol You. Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; for His steadfast love endures forever! Psalm 118:28-29
I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart; I will recount all of your wonderful deeds. I will be glad and exult in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High. Psalm 9:1-2
It’s clear we are to give thanks to the Lord for these things – His steadfast love, His goodness, His wonderful deeds – among many others. We must not forget that He is the Giver of every gift we have. And for those of us who are married, one of His greatest gifts to us is our spouse. Honestly, how are you doing at expressing thanks to the Lord for your spouse?
House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord. Prov. 19:14
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken. Eccl 4:9-12
Do those verses remind you of the gift He has given you in your spouse? And if you do truly believe your spouse IS a gift from Him, are you consistently voicing your gratitude to Him?
A Further Call to Gratitude in Marriage
In addition to giving thanks to the Lord for the gift of your spouse, I believe there is another way we can express our thankfulness and gratitude to Him for our spouse. And that is by looking for and taking advantage of what Paul Tripp calls the “10,000 little moments of life”.
You see, it’s fairly easy and even expected for us to give thanks to our spouse on their birthday, on our anniversary, on Valentine’s Day, etc. Even those who do not yet know Christ can do those things. But as Christ-followers, we are called beyond the expected to demonstrate our gratitude without it being a “special occasion”. Especially gratitude for the small things – the often-overlooked things – that our spouse does daily. Those are some of the 10,00o moments of which Paul Tripp speaks.
Maybe your spouse leaves little love notes for you, or texts you encouragement many days. Have you thanked them for this?
Perhaps your spouse did a chore that you normally do to ease your load. Have you thanked them for caring for you in that way?
Is your spouse the one running to the store on their way home and asking you if you need anything? Have you thanked them for this way they are serving you?
These are just a few simple examples of these 10,000 little moments that are too easily overlooked. We need to change our mindset from just “expecting” our spouse to do things, to “appreciating” our spouse for taking time to do things that show care and thoughtfulness – even household chores!
One my wife does often (which is good because I seldom think of it) is changing the sheets on the bed. Sometimes I only notice when I get into bed and get that feeling of the nice, crisp, clean sheets. I’ll admit, I have not thanked her for this kindness lately.
Here’s what Family Therapist, Julie Hauser, has to say about these seemingly small things in marriage: “One of the tenets of gratitude is acknowledging that something or someone really matters to you, and one of the best ways to do that is through little gestures, like kissing them hello and goodbye, saying good morning and goodnight, and even just pausing to chat when they walk in the door. If you throw away those daily moments, you may ultimately send a message to your partner that they don’t matter to you as much as you know they do deep down”. The lesson: Pay attention to those small gestures. Lean into them. Make them happen. They matter more than you think they do—because they help you show your spouse that they matter to you most of all. (1)
So let’s go back to the initial question: Are you and I consistently modeling our deep gratitude for Him to those closest to us (your spouse) and to the unbelieving world?
If you can honestly answer “Yes”, then praise the Lord that He has empowered you to do this. And if your answer is “No” or “I’m not sure”, then take time to confess your sinful lack of gratitude to Him and ask Him what steps you need to take to grow in gratitude.
APPLICATION SECTION:
Take a moment right now to think of your spouse. Think of a few ways that they are serving you in the idea of these 10,000 small moments. Write a few of those down below. Now consider taking the additional step of telling your spouse today, even right now if possible. Thank them specifically for these small gifts of service.
Looking for an appreciation idea that is simple and inexpensive? All you need to do is, sit down and write down every possible “I value my partner because…” reasons on a sheet of paper. Then hand that paper to your spouse or leave it for them as a surprise one day. This is a great way to value your spouse and what they bring to the relationship. (2)
Consider asking another same-gender Christ-follower to hold you accountable to grow in this area.
Write out a prayer to the Lord expressing your lack of gratitude and committing to cooperate with Him in making you a man or woman who models gratitude to your spouse and others closest to you.
For further help, check out one or more of the online articles listed below:
SOURCES:
(1) Excerpt from Online Post from www.self.com entitled “Six Small But Impactful Ways to Show Your Partner More Appreciation”
(2) Idea adapted from “Six Ways to Appreciate and Value Your Spouse” by Elizabeth McCormick on www.marriage.com
Written by Glen Solberg, Abiding Marriage May 2026. All Rights Reserved. Please email us at info@AbidingMarriage.org with any comments or questions.
Image by D koi on Unsplash
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