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Our Daily Need for the Gospel in Marriage

Glen Solberg
5 days ago
4 min read

In Christian circles, we hear a lot about “The Gospel”. When I first became a Christ-follower at age 30, my view of the Gospel was that it was only related to my salvation. The Gospel confronted me with the truth that I am a sinner, I am separated from God by my sin, and the only remedy is confessing Jesus as my Lord and Savior – the only acceptable payment for my sin debt – and being born-again, by grace through faith, into a personal relationship with God.

 

But over the years, my view of the Gospel has grown. I now realize I have a daily need for the Gospel. That does not mean I need to be “saved” each day, but rather that the Gospel reminds me of my selfishness and self-centeredness, and calls me to humble myself, confess my sin, and ask God to help me cooperate with Him in becoming more like Jesus.

 

As I ponder this, I think, for many of us, the place where we might be most confronted with our selfishness and self-centeredness is in our marriage relationship. It is so easy to want my spouse to prioritize meeting my needs, but give little effort to thinking of their needs or wants. It is so easy to compare what I think I am doing in my marriage and conclude that I am doing more than my spouse is.

 

But the Gospel calls me again and again to live an “others-centered life”. To no longer live for myself but for the One who died on my behalf. To deny myself, take up my cross daily, and follow Him.

 

God reminded me of this daily Gospel call recently as I was reading an excerpt from a book by Dave Harvey. In this book, Dave had asked this question to husbands and wives: “Do I tend to use words that acknowledge my personal responsibility when I sin, or do I deflect and shift the blame?”  Below is his answer stinging but honest response:

 

This is our penchant for creating a soft, amoral world. We tend to present an existence where, when I describe myself, I don't really need a Savior - just self-improvement or self-understanding. But this hijacks our ability to share in the Gospel's benefits. As Jerry Bridges says, "To benefit from the Gospel every day, then, we must acknowledge that we are still sinners." Are you like me? If I become angry over something, I prefer to avoid biblical words like “anger” and “bitterness” because they're loaded with moral freight that stings. I'd rather mention in passing that I was feeling “moody, touchy, irritated, frustrated, or oversensitive”. In fact, maybe I think I woke up “stressed out, ticked off, tense, edgy, annoyed, or testy”. You get the point. Those words work well as descriptors, but they have little moral bite.  The Son of God didn't shed his blood because I'm grumpy or high-strung. He died because I'm a selfish and angry rebel.

 

When I first read those words, my first response was OUCH! You may have felt the same way! We tend to use words that make our sin sound more “acceptable”. And if we are honest, we also tend to minimize our own part in wrongdoing, but often maximize the sinful way others respond. That is why we need to consistently reflect on the Gospel to humble us and lead us to true repentance.

 

Going back to Dave Harvey’s quote above, please consider honestly answering a couple of questions:

 

  • Do you honestly see yourself as a selfish, angry rebel in need of God’s continual help, or just a man or woman who is “having a bad day”?






  • If you and I truly saw ourselves as selfish, angry rebels, how should that change the way we respond to our spouse and others? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Prayer: Lord, remind me of my need for the Gospel every day. Just like my salvation was fully dependent on You, my sanctification is fully dependent on Your Word and Your Spirit for making me a new creation. Help me to fully cooperate with You in this process of transformation. And humble me often as I remember the blood Jesus shed on my behalf. Help me to “never get over the Gospel”. Thank You, Lord!

 

 

 

 

Additional Reading to Grow in Our Need for the Gospel:

 

 

 

Really good post by our friends at Marriage Revolution: https://marriagerevolution.org/why-your-marriage-needs-easter/

 

 

 

Resource to Purchase:

 

The Gospel Primer is an excellent book a friend introduced me to years ago. It is one I go back to over and over again to daily remind me of my need for the Gospel. You can find it many places on the web including the Walmart link below:

 

 

 

 

Written by Glen Solberg, Abiding Marriage September 2026. All Rights Reserved. Please email us at info@AbidingMarriage.org with any comments or questions.

 

Photo by Willian Justen de Vasconcellos on Pexels



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